Unloved child. Daughter / son without a father. Unmet needs.Analysis of "white half"
This video is intended for those 1. Who did not have a father / mother, 2. For victims of neglect, 3. For those who passed from the stage of anger in the analysis of relations with their parents to the stage of depression (this is it: when you fall in sadness because you were missing something).
The parent performs certain tasks during the upbringing, satisfies certain needs that the psyche needs for its development. And when some needs are not satisfied, the psyche cannot get its full development. It remains there, at the point where we are unloved .
Basic needs in a relationship: Protection (to know that they will not quit; what I am needed ; what they want and can take care of me); to be reassured, supported in difficult times; in the council; in praise (admiration, gratitude); empathy (to understand and share emotions); in respect and acceptance; in physical contact, tenderness; in care; time devoted to you, attention.
What are the consequences for your psyche that some needs were not satisfied?
1. Constant chronic sadness, longing, desire for love. You can’t be happy. Depressed.
2. Agree to a low-quality relationship, where you receive at least something. Underestimate yourself.
3. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are really loved, your transference is turned on - resentment, incredulity.
How to work with it?
1. Realize that you have unmet needs and understand which ones.
2. Cry them - survive the mourning, say goodbye, understand that these needs will never be satisfied by parents .
3. In current relationships, be aware of your need and ask for satisfaction.
To work through this process, I offer you a technique of 2 letters - one is a “white letter” for a parent, in which you write out everything you needed and all that you did not have enough, talk about your sadness, disappointment, love, desire, all that receive, and the second letter is a response letter from the parent. This is a powerful and very emotional practice that helps you break free of all long-held emotions and promotes emotional release.
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